Cal-Exit? There is a God!

Many to most of the inhabitants of California awakened to a wet dream the day following the U.S. Presidential Election – Donald Trump, a REPUBLICAN, had been elected. So enthralled were they by the 4 year plight to come, half or more of these residents wet their pants (and panties; for those of the female and LGBTQ persuasion). Panic set in. Chaos ensued. “Who will take care of us?”

It’s no secret that California is a putrid blue state, by and large. Their borders house so many (illegal and legal) morally decaying residents, they have been gifted with 55 electoral votes. Sorry to say, they can’t and won’t accept the fact that their Republic, according to their state flag, has fallen under Republican rule at the national level. Rather than to change their symbolic flag, they’ve chosen to excise the Cancer they are from the remaining (relatively) healthy organism – the other contiguous states in the Union. Bravo!

President Trump, you DO NOT hold the honor for sparking the Cal-exit revolution. That apparently goes to Obama, being that this movement was initiated under Obama’s presidential reign, with the poll assertion that H. Clinton would succeed. One misinterpreted succession has given rise to a secession I can only hope will succeed.

For Cal-exit to occur, the “Yes California” movement, chiefly spearheaded by two male life partners who “don’t want to live under the same dysfunctional household anymore.” Really?

Their movement has a post office box headquartered out of disease-infested Fresno (because drug addiction IS a Disease; just as all criminal behavior will be labeled in the very near democratic future). They have to obtain over half a million signatures to bring the topic to the March 2019 Special Election ballot. Once secession does occur, the liberal democrats (is there really any other kind?) can retain $452.8B in annual federal income taxes to pay for their woes, like the Oroville Dam they have already asked federal aid for. How ironic is it to have hotshot California wanting self-determination, to be self-sufficient in their utopianism, and still come crying to daddy for money? Seems like a pretty weak display of a “can do” nation that wants to be left alone!

I propose you Californians utilize your greater-than-thou superior principles to:

  1. become a Sanctuary State of refugees and illegal aliens, from Syria to Mexico to the Middle East. Bring in those 280M new people “knocking at the door and asking for visas” to live in your nation AND support them (so we don’t have to, cuz you’re so much better than the rest of us);
  2. pay your new immigrants, including farm laborers, a starting wage of $20/hour with a complete compensatory package, such as full medical (and whatever you do, don’t forget the mental health), and put the rest of your ex-Union states to shame;
  3. take over all social programs for your citizens, including subsidized housing, food stamps, energy/utilities, medical, education and child-care; the unemployed; the disabled; rehabilitation for your druggies; imprisonment (or will it be hospitalization) for your criminals;
  4. build that wall, to safeguard your citizens from the political infidels that live outside your borders and “to defend ourselves from the rest of this country.”;
  5. continue to pay your pensioners, numbering greater than any other state;
  6. discreetly withdraw from all infrastructure funds you are receiving, such as for high-speed rail;
  7. buy out the federal government for all transportation and energy assets you’ll be taking control over;
  8. weather out your droughts, floods and mud/landslides; fight your Santa Ana-fueled wildfires; and rebuild your earthquake debris fields without bellyaching;
  9. aspirate your wine while we get ours from Oregon and Washington; and
  10. choke on your fruits and vegetables while we get ours from other greenhouses, fertile fields, Florida and Mexico.

When you fail miserably, through a lack of signatures, votes or through incompetent government rule, don’t come whimpering back with your tail between your legs. Be the dog that you are and lie in the bed you’ve created.